A City of Abundant Opportunity by Howard Leonard

Author:Howard Leonard
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Diverse relationship structures, age disparity, interracial, over 40, therapist, gay, cisgender, gender queer
Publisher: NineStar Press, LLC
Published: 2023-10-27T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter Seventeen

In all the years I’d worked with Dr. Goldberg, I don’t think I’d ever called him between appointments for a reason other than scheduling. I couldn't hide my anxiety, and he assured me it was okay to take time on the phone to explain what I needed. I tried to be brief as I told him about ending my relationship with Justin and how well that went, and that I’d talked with DeVon about becoming exclusive. I reminded Dr. Goldberg of the horrors DeVon’s father had faced before he was born, as the context for DeVon's own fear that his dad couldn’t handle the idea of him not partnering with a Black woman. I was quick to clarify that DeVon doesn’t think his father’s feelings are homophobic, but rather, they are part of a broader fear of how unsafe life is for Blacks in this country. He knows his father believes a white guy would never be able to fully appreciate the danger Black men face. To his dad, Black men need Black women. It’s simply a fact of life. It’s about safety, not sexuality.

After taking all that in and asking me a few questions about our hopes for a joint session, Dr. Goldberg said that he’d be happy to meet with the two of us and we’d figure out where to go during that appointment.

After hanging up, I immediately called DeVon and told him that Dr. Goldberg would see us. I asked if I could stop by his house after work and talk about the appointment. He agreed. What I didn’t add was that I also wanted to tell him about Justin.

*

I approached DeVon’s front door with a mix of emotions. A part of me wanted the conversation to be the official beginning of our commitment to get through this problem together, while another part was afraid the discussion would be too intense, and my words might push our relationship to the cliff, or even over the edge. When he opened the door, we both reeked of caution.

My plan to start off by expressing appreciation for DeVon seemed to ease the tension. I affirmed our mutual goal was concern for his father, and I hoped we had no worries about each other. He agreed with all of that.

“Before we talk about your dad, I also want to be clear about something else. I meant it when I told you I want us to be exclusive. I'd been seeing this other guy, Justin, someone I first dated a couple of years ago. The same day you and I met at the Off, I also ran into him there. I hadn’t seen him in a long time. He’s a good guy, and he asked me out to dinner. So I said yes to dinner before you and I had our first date at Chophouse Row. Justin and I went out a few times after that. I was comfortable being with him because we’d dated for about three months after my long-term relationship ended.

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